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Post by jerry on May 25, 2007 17:09:46 GMT
The relatively obscure recent GM appointee for the '76ers, still only known as "Mad Jerry" has wasted not time living up to his name.
Overnight he sacked the entire '76ers coaching, player management, marketing, fitness, and medical staff, and hammered wooden boards across the doors to all their offices, with the exception of his own. All ticket vending has been outsourced, and prices have been halved for the foreseen future. The teams corporate boxes are no longer available, and while their sponsers have been reimbursed there has been no explanation from the one remaining non-playing member of the organisation, Mad Jerry, or his driver / bodyguard former badboy Denis Rodman.
Mad Jerry later issued a press release stating:
More to come
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Post by Boston Celtics on May 25, 2007 17:42:39 GMT
lol, what?!
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Post by Erik Lassen on May 26, 2007 0:11:08 GMT
Hahahaha. Nice stuff.
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Post by jerry on May 26, 2007 2:11:46 GMT
'76ers GM has just announced he'll be amalgamating the duties of ex coach Maurice Cheeks, ex Chariman Ed Snider, ex President Billy King, ex VP Larry Brown, and the Senior VP and asst. GM whose name nobody remembers into one supreme position, to be occupied by Jerry himself. This will give him entire control over all team related decisions.
The GM's notorious driver / bodyguard Denis Rodman also had his role expanded to include marketing and has assumed the title 'chief pimp'. The corporate boxes will all become bars of various themes, all pimp related, and open to the general public before, during and after home games. Drink prices have been reduced considerably, and the bar staff will chosen from the pool of Playboys ex-playmates of the month. Mr Rodman is also in charge of security, halftime entertainment, and uniform design.
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Post by Dallas Mavericks on May 26, 2007 2:14:35 GMT
maybe you should add Spreewell, Artest, and Darius Miles as part of your all-star security guards too.
;D
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Post by jerry on May 26, 2007 2:36:27 GMT
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Post by jerry on May 26, 2007 17:25:03 GMT
Following the chaos off the court over the first two weeks of the season the 76ers have started making changes on the court. Kyle Korver has been shipped out to Indiana for Ike Diogu, who looks likely to take the starting PF spot from Joe Smith. Willie Green will start at the SG spot and Iggy will move up to his prefered SF position. The 76ers are 3-6, but have played 6 games on the road, getting wins against Toronto and Seattle. They won their last home game at home after dropping the first two, starting the season 0-4. 76ers coach Mad Jerry has indicated he will give Denis Rodman brief stints at coaching over the season, allowing himself to run upstairs for a quick drink or three and to entertain the lady guests at the various pimp bars during the game. The arrangement with Wachovia Finance over stadium naming rights has been terminated, and ideas for a non commercial name for the stadium are being sought at the sixers Playoff Junkies Pimp Lounge from Ms Rachel Sterling (May 2006) :
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Post by jerry on Jun 1, 2007 12:02:23 GMT
Samuel Dalembert's ankle injury was expected to keep him out for up to a week. However, Mad Jerry's worked tirelessly through the night to acquire the first member of the 76ers new medical staff, Doctor Joy Revolutionary Far Eastern therapeutic practices and ointments appied by the good Doctor got Sammy up, and then on his feet and ready for the Detroit game considerably faster than expected. Sammy says his ankle has never felt better, but added that he is hoping to see the Doctor again soon about some other ailments. EDIT - Joy's sister is a nurse too, and has decided to join the franchise.
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